Last nite keeps replaying itself in my head, taking over my thoughts like a virus without cause.
Everytime i tried to shut my eyes, i could see and hear nothing but what had just taken place in the front yard of my apartment.
What was meant to be safe, was no longer.
You know its bad, when closing your eyes, won't shut out the fear you just lived.
It started on a Saturday night. I knew it was going to be one of "those" nights, when i saw numourous people stumbling towards the apartment building directly adjacent to ours.
They were having a party, and the people who were attending weren't exactly the kind of people you would have over to meet your mum and dad.
Hours passed, the clock read 1.35 am and i knew it was only going to get worse the drunker they got.
As the noise grew louder and more and more people stood outside my apartment, yelling, talking and screaming. My anger and frustration grew. I wanted sleep, I wanted them gone, or at least in the apartment they were meant to be in.
After Raishawn had been awoken 3 times, and the clock read 2.45 am. Enough was enough.
Call me crazy, but i took it upon myself to go out there, and tell them to leave or have the police come and escort them else were. Anywere as long as they were gone and took the noise they were making with them.
Bad idea. Stupid me.
I was mad, tired, frustrated and aggravated. It showed in the way i yelled at them to move on. One of the men, who looked like he was fresh out of a prison cell; dreadlocks, gold teeth, short, fat and slimy.
Told me "Bitch get the fuck back in your house."
"Oh no he didn't."
Before i could rationalise what obsceneties were just thrown at me, Richard stormed out of the house and demanded he apologise for disrespecting his wife.
By this time the party had woken numourous neighbours up, and i could almost hear imaginary dialing to the sheriff's station.
I felt as if i was standing in the middle of a carpark after they let the club goers out. Cars bumbing music loud enough to cause earthquakes. Girls yelling and screaming whilst holding there heels. People arguing over who would be driving. Groups of people so large, the many cars parked in our car park, almost looked hidden.
This was the front of my apartment. What was meant to be my home, my quiet sanctuary, was no longer.
Then it happened, the noise that makes your stomach scream a thousand little deaths.
The noise that seems to stop the world from turning and holds time still for just a second.
Gunshots; One.... Bang..... Two....... Bang....... Three..... Bang......
Where is Richard.?....... Four........ Bang............."Oh my god, call 911"........ Five....... Bang.....
My hands trembled as i dialed 911, it took me 3 times to get those few numbers right. Numbers i had never had to dial before.
Dispatcher: 911, ma'am, What is your emergency?
Me: Oh my god, i need police, somebodies shooting.
Dispatcher: Calm down ma'am tell me your address.
Me: Its ............. No oh god, Its...............
Dispatcher: ok ma'am, who is shooting?
Me: I don't know, theres a party, with heaps of people, i don't know who........... SIX......... BANG........
Dispatcher: Ok ma'am, was that a gunshot? You need to stay in your house, ma'am, don't go outside.
Me: Ok. Please hurry.
I had Raishawn in my arms, curled up on the floor, silent. Waiting, wishing they would hurry up and get here.
I invisioned my husband, the love of my life, shot. Bleeding.
Tears started to fall, and my heart built a pace of its own.
Richard came back in the house, and the nightmare of thoughts that had suffocated my head dissapated. He wasn't bleeding, shot or hurt. Just shocked.
The people seemed to clear out, dissapear. The gunshots ceased. And there was silence. An eery silence, like a quiet before the storm.
I sat waiting, wondering if they would come back and start shooting again. I sat waiting, wondering if anyone was hurt.
2 and a half hours it took the police to arrive..... 2 and a half hours.
Not only did they just drive by and scan the area, they did not call me back or knock on my door, to make sure me and my family was alright.
They did not question the people who threw the party, or question anyone for that matter. They just drove by, almost 3 hours late, nonchalantly, like numourous gunshots being fired on a saturday nite, was nothing out of the ordinary.
Luckily, noone was hurt.
We don't know who was shooting, or what they were shooting at.
This was meant to be my home, my quiet sanctuary. My place of peace and safety.
This wasn't a bad neighbourhood. This is an upper class neighbourhood.
Somewere you would want to raise your children.
Although i'm not sure about that anymore.
Shame on America, for teaching its youth that its cool to tote guns around. That your more of a man if you have a gun.
Shame on America for not emphasising how sacred the human life is, and how quickly someone can take it away.
Plans for the future: HOMEWARD BOUND, AUSTRALIA THE GREAT, AUSTRALIA THE BEAUTIFUL.
Will be my home once again, one day in the future.
