Tossing and Turning.

Every known and again, i get a little bit restless.

A little bit lonely, a little bit sad.

A little bit depressed and a little bit homesick.

Call it cabin fever if you will, or call it the lack of adult interaction during my days, but sometimes i feel like the person staring back at me in my reflection, is someone of little resemblance to myself.

Thinking back to this time 2 years ago, i had different goals, a different outlook on my life.

If i had magically stumbled upon a glass ball that could tell me my future. I wouldn't have believed it, if it said i would be where i am today.

Don't twist up my words now. I in no way am complaining about my life, or what i have in this life.

I'm only reflecting on the person i used to be, the person who i sometimes feel got lost along the way.

Sure my thoughts haven't changed, my outer shell hasn't changed that much.

But when you have a child and a family, you seem to forget yourself, your goals, your ambitions and focus on others.

Cooking dinner, cleaning the house, changing diapers and making bottles.

Its these things that take over your life and erase little pieces of you.

Maybe not forever, but for the time that is now. You are a mum, a wife, your the glue that holds it all together.

Sometimes, you forget that you are a young woman, 22 and full of life.

Sometimes you forget that you need YOUR time, time alone, time to reflect on the things YOU want to accomplish in YOUR life. Things that have nothing to do with vacuuming and potty training.

Every so often i have to stop. Close my eyes and take a deep breath. Slow down this rollercoaster of motherhood and take a look around at the world and the person living this world, that is me.

Its so easy to get swept away in just living, without actually living your life.

Its easy to stop and appreciate yourself for who you are, for the things you are doing.

Its easy to push down that itching restlessness that is growing inside of you like a rising volcano and allow yourself to feel grateful for the cards in which have been dealt to you.

So next time, when i get a little bit restless, a little bit lonely.

A little bit sad, a little bit depressed.

A little bit scared and a little bit homesick.

I'll look back at my reflection and take the time to find the person i am, and this time not forget her along the way.